top of page

Modern day A/S/L

Remember when A/S/L was a legit way to start an online chat convo? *looking at you AOL Instant Messenger (AIM)*. Nothing makes me more nervous than staring at the blank screen of my phone, wondering what to write after matching with someone. A/S/L: Age, Sex and Location, the standard ice breaker back in the days of online chat room no longer works.

The way to go from online to real life date is through chatting and the first message is the chance to make a first impression. You want to come off as cool, normal, and memorable. Say the wrong word and you will be banned to leftville with the quickness.

With online dating there are 2 mediums to explore:

through pictures and/ or profile write-ups. The images give a sneak peek into the life of the candidates at a glance while their profile write-ups provide supporting information. Online dating will quickly teach you the act of discernment as you peruse through a bevy of profiles and make snap decisions.

Personally, I swipe left on profiles with one photo. It’s 2017 bih, majority of millennials have smartphones (you are on this app right?). So there really is no excuse to having just one photo. Also, I swipe left on profiles with no write up. So, you mean to tell me you couldn’t take 2 minutes to write something, dude ANYTHING… like, “I don’t like writing about myself. I respond better to questions.” …BRUH ANYTHING! I remember exams during college, I NEVER left a question blank. I’m gon BS my way to (1/2) point, cos every point counts. namsaying?

If you are shy have a friend put some words together, in fact a handful of people do that. I mean your friends know you well, so you can trust them…I hope. There isn’t a recipe, just write what reflects who you are. For example:

*Who are you? 3 traits/ 3 adjectives that describe you,

*What do you do for a living?

*What do you do for fun?

*What are your filters, i.e. non-smoker, political affiliations, never married, no kids, etc.

Ok back to initiating conversation. Here are some tactics to experiment with:

  • Jokes.

  • Riddles.

  • Pickup lines.

  • Compliment: You have a nice smile, that is a cool shot, etc

  • Question: Where was that picture taken? What were you doing in that shot…or pull something from their profile write up.

  • Direct Salutation: Hello, Hi, how are you?

I am more direct, but I do mix it up with compliments sometimes. I’ve read profiles where the guy says he won’t respond to a ‘Hey! How are you?” message. I’m like ya’ll out here bugging and doing the most. What is wrong with good ol’ Hey how are you? hiss

Initiating the first conversation does not have to be a nerve wrecking exercise. Be you. It is not that deep.

Below is snapshot of one of my Bumble Gems

That’s all folks!

bottom of page