Relations or Relationship?
A while back i matched with someone on Bumble, he claimed he was in town visiting and asked to meet at his hotel. I was like ‘Funke! Funke! Emi laye mi... I already started doing arithmetic of the implication of such request.
+ 1 bed
+ 2 bodies
-Apparel (voluntarily or involuntarily)
In my mind I’m like shior…it is me this one wants to use as Souvenir abi? I also thought about safety, the arithmetic was not adding up at all.
I politely declined his invitation and deleted the chat. Fast-forward to this past weekend after matching with this gentleman on Bumble. Below is what ensued:
Him: Hey, you should come over
I’m thinking oh boy, here we go. My fu*kboy meter is already going off the charts.
Me: You are funny and out of curiosity, does that really work with other girls?
Him: Who cares? I’m talking to you…come over
Me: So, did you do anything fun this weekend?
Him: Nah. Studying
Me: Oh, are you studying for an exam or certification?
Him: Something like that…. come over
Me: No thanks.
It was at this point I unmatched with him. He didn’t have to explicitly state what he was after, I put 2 and 2 together. He was looking for someone who was Down To F**k (DTF) and i was not up for that.
Modern dating is so tricky. We are in an era where sexuality, commitment, monogamy is very fluid. We now have the freedom to define what these terms mean to us and how it influences our behavior.
While it is refreshing to not have to live in the shadow of ‘olden days’, I feel we shouldn’t drastically shift to the opposite end. The sweet spot is somewhere in the middle.
Overall, I feel this shift benefits men than women. There is still a double standard regarding sexual behavior that punishes women who embrace their sexual prowess.
Meanwhile as we swipe some are looking for relationship, others are just looking for relations.
Whatever you do, however you do it, please be safe! Your health is your wealth.