I should title this “Case of ENTITLEWOMENT”. But I really am just going to focus on time wasting.
The common narrative is that men are time wasters, wasting the time of beautiful, smart, hardworking, and independent women.
The truth is time wasting goes both ways. These days, online dating with the intent of being serious, is a hassle for men. Every match is waiting for you to be Mr. Right, that includes reaching out first, creating the right conversation, holding the conversation (No Matter How Truly Boring She Is), planning a date, paying for the date, and following up. All of this with 0 to no requirement or effort from the woman, and these are all considered standard Mr. Right responsibilities (I definitely skipped some others).
During this whole discovery process, there’s technically 0 requirement on Mrs. Right besides being courteous and showing up to the date, so when you really want to consider whose time is being wasted, imagine planning to do that for every supposed Mrs. Right you meet online, which could be in the tens per month, only to get to the date and realize that she’s not really whom she said she was, you’ve been cat-fished, she used pictures from a different era in her life, or she has no true qualities besides what was on her social media or dating profile.
I’m not saying women don’t have their fair share of dating hassles, I’m just saying time wasting goes both ways, and although biased, I feel time wasting happens more against men.
And no. Biological clock is not a justification for an imbalance in time allocation because if we are to factor biology then we might as well start rolling back decades of civil liberties and gender equality accomplishments, also women freeze eggs and men freeze sperm just to gain on time, so there are ways around our biological limitations.
You consider all of this and wonder why men want to “Hang Out”, “Chill”, or simply just smash. Often times it’s because we have given up on sharing the Mr. Right goods with every “potential” only to end up with our time wasted. I also do understand that there’s a misalignment on what attributes of dating both sexes equate to being “The Premium Goods”, but that’s a discussion for another day. I do believe however that while sex and physical contact is valuable and shouldn’t be passed around like a hot potato, I also believe that my time, energy, and attention is more important than anything else I have to give, especially as an ambitious young man which Mr. Rights normally are.
I have given up on finding long term relationships through traditional dating practices, PERIOD. I believe whomever is out there for me will magically, YES magically, fall into my life. Until then, we will “HANG OUT” and “CHILL”. I don’t have to prove to anyone that I am Mr. Right, I treat people who I think deserve it not people who simply “Set their standards” high.
The fact that you believe you deserve an expensive dinner, door held open, being picked up, etc, does not mean you ACTUALLY deserve one, least not to me.