Beauty: The Double Edged Sword.
In business school we were asked which we would prefer, beauty or brains. I was surprised to see the responses for Beauty. One of my classmates defended their choice for beauty by saying, “I can walk through doors and won’t be questioned if I belonged there.” Beauty is a privilege.
I like to think that Beauty is seen, while Intelligence is heard. The latter is an act i feel requires active participation.
Two weeks ago someone confessed to me that they wondered if I lived a double life because they didn’t understand how someone who is beautiful, smart, personable can be single. I chuckled because i did not have an answer.
To be honest I am just lucky. My beauty is neither earned nor worked for. I hit the genetic lotto and if i want to be fair, i grew into my beauty. My glowup is real AF. I would post a before pic but i'm not finna put myself on blast, those who know know.
While beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, there is conventional beauty that an average person, beholder or not will agree is beautiful.
What does this have to do with dating?
I think there is an unspoken notion that beautiful people should have no problem finding a mate after all they tend to be sought after. But when I look around my circle of beautiful friends I find that statement falls flat.
On the flip side I know average looking people who are booed up, married…sometimes my friends and I joke that it's as if some people have gum stuck to their eyes because their ability to see is impaired.
Most of us want to be paired with someone who is either at the same level looks-wise or even better looking. Not a lot of people will confess to this, but it is true. No one wants to show up with their partner and have people stylishly ask ‘how did you both meet?’ because of the unlikely pairing. My Nigerian people can be very backhandedly savage sometimes.
I often wonder if my beauty gives me a false sense of entitlement causing me to be too picky when swiping. Is it shallow of me to say i don't want to date someone who is significantly physically bigger than i am, or maybe shorter than i am. Is it shallowness or just a matter of preference? after all many of us have types/ specs which guide us when dating.
being beautiful allows for options!
Sometimes beauty can be intimidating. Some people may never approach you because they think there is no way you are available or maybe they fear rejection. They over analyse meanwhile the person in question is super chill, and open. You never know. So take this as a nudge to shoot your shot. Better to know where you stand that wonder what could have been.
Let's not forget that there is a correlation between looks and physical attraction. I believe physical attraction is important in a relationship. I don't know about you but i want my heart to go ting-a-ling-a-ing when i see Bae, now imagine Bae wearing that thing that you like...that current can carry enough charge to power Nigeria for a week.
I struggle with a conclusion as i am still processing, but for now i think that looks matter. However It is not the most important factor. There are other things that I value over looks, i.e character. because looks will fade but character won't.