I met a nice guy last year. Total # of dates with him: 5. Issue: No physical chemistry/attraction.
We met on Bumble after many requests from my friends and family to get out of this house. On our very first date I cried. like tears streaming down your face cry. Why was I crying? Well he asked about my parents and where they were based. I don’t know what came over me, the tears just poured out. He looked so concerned, and I shared lost my dad. He held my hands, said he was sorry and said he understood as he lost his dad some years ago as well.
I apologized for crying and he said I didn’t need to as it was part of the grieving process. I thought for sure we wouldn’t hang out after that episode, but we did.
There was the weekend he traveled to his family’s reunion and promised to surprise me upon his return. When he got back he apologized profusely that the surprise was his plan to bring me back his mom’s famous chocolate tea cupcake. A delightful treat he’d raved about after I shared I had a sweet tooth. Unfortunately, the batch his mom made didn’t turn out well and he didn’t feel right bringing them. So, you know what he did? he got his mom to share their family recipe, invited me over and we baked it together.
*CUE ALL THE AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWS IN THE WORLD*
So what was the problem, you ask? I felt no physical attraction to him. We could have conversation, hang out but It just lacked spice. I’m not an all round fiery person, but I like to think that I have a dash of spunk and would like to be with someone who has a bit of it too, that way I’m not out here wilding out by my lonesome.
I tried talking myself into overlooking the chemistry issue and just focused on the fact that he was a really sweet guy. That plan didn’t last long because the uneasy feeling kept creeping back up. It took me a smooth 2 weeks to get the courage to break the news to him. I asked if we could stay friends and he said “Pearl I can’t agree to that, because if I do I am closing the door to the possibility that something could happen between us.”
He rejected my pass into the friend zone.
When I look back, there were signs that this was a dead-end situation. One red flag was me dodging his multiple attempts to kiss me. I KNEW when I finally kissed him out of guilt that I could not be with him.
So what did I like about him? He took initiative, he was attentive, and communicative. These were the things/acts I was attracted to. Not necessarily the person doing them.
I appreciate a man who isn’t afraid to call you just to talk about nothing in particular, I appreciate the thoughtful follow ups when you’ve shared something interesting.
While I was bummed he didn’t want to be friends, I respected his decision and wished him good luck.
So yea that was Mr. Nice Guy. I hope he's found his lady.
PS: Please bear with me as I get my blogging mojo back.