Much Ado About Potential
My friend told me about this post that's been circulating on social media and it got me thinking about potential . This man is asking for someone to invest in him, unfortunately he has not shared what he is bringing to the table.
Some women (myself included) have fallen into this funky space of nursing potential. According to Webster, potential is: having or showing the capacity to become or develop into something in the future.
You meet a guy, and while he is NOT quite up to your spec, you start the arithmetic of adding his fractions trying to make a whole, not knowing that he is an improper fraction…he will never make a whole #. Trying to make sense out of nonsense.
Now I am NOT saying don’t be a with man that’s in the making, you know he ain’t arrived yet, but based on HIS ACTIONS (not words, who word epp?) he is well on his way.
What do you mean, Pearl? I am so glad you asked. Let’s check out these conversations:
Candidate 1
Lady: So, what do you do?
Candidate: Well I just quit my sales job, and just enrolled in school/ Coding camp/ program, etc. to be better positioned to work in x role, at x company…
Candidate 2
Lady: So, what do you do?
Well I currently drive for Lyft/Uber part time because I am working on my degree: BA, MSc, PhD, etc.
Alakoris (unserious fellow)
Lady: So, what do you do?
Him: Well I’m into business,
Lady What kind of business?
Him: I’m just hustling, I dabble into a little bit of this and that.
Notice the difference between the candidates, Candidate 1-2 can articulate their goals, show their work, while Alakoris (unserious fellow), are just about the talking with nothing to show for it.
I’m realizing there are 3 different buckets for potential:
Realized Potential: Accomplished and set. Ready to wear type. Bro has all his ducks in row and something to show for it.
Kinetic Potential: potential that has energy and is in motion. Uncle’s food will soon done.
Unrealized Potential: not brought to conscious awareness. not understood. Time wasters don’t bother.
The key is to be able to discern which of these traits the person you are dealing with possesses and be honest with yourself on what you can handle. A man in the making who needs a supporter/partner vs. a man-child who is still breast feeding can alter the trajectory of your life.
Alakoris/ Lazy men will prey on women who are blinded by potential. Don’t get caught in the space where you see yourself as the secret to his success.
Personally, I need to be with someone who has something doing. As long as your hustle is clean, you can articulate short term and long-term goals and demonstrate your actions to achieve them, then you are good.
Ladies let’s be guided with our interaction, energy, attention, and affection. Don’t get caught in a ponzi scheme. Don’t get took out in these streets. Shine your eye!
Pearl B