The Backup Fiancé


July 2019 I was introduced to Biodun. He was a grad student and we got along well, bants, serious convo, etc. One day while we were talking, he said; “Bukky I wish I met you sooner. I have a lady in my life. How I wish I met you earlier.”


I was like say less bro and proceeded to find my square root expeditiously. God did not create me to be a home wrecker. I stopped chatting with him end of August 2019.


2020 drops with a banger of Covid and Biodun resurfaces! Let’s embark on a journey shall we 😊. In interest of time, I have screenshotted the interesting bits.


July 2020

Biodun pings me with a default pic (dp) compliment, and finally asks if we can talk.

We talk and uncle leads with he’s been praying and fasting, and his heart has been drawing to me. Bla bla…

(side bar: how come when demons want to attack they will sha find a way to blaspheme against God?)


Me: this one that you are talking like this hope no problem.do you have a kid? Abi you got someone pregnant. Are you married?

Him: No, but I am engaged., but things are not good. I’m having second doubts about it.

Me: Congrats o. Is it an arranged marriage?

Him: No

Me: So, what’s the issue? what’ going on?

According to him there were personality differences, then he mentioned her body size as well and her unwillingness to work on her weight. (Are you hissing? rolling your eyes? Don’t worry, I rolled my eyes too and hissed too...oshisco)

Him: I’ll love to hear your thoughts, even advice too.

Me: you both dated for a bit and even moved in together, so you know how you met her. As you are a Christian, take it to God, and seek pre-marital counselling. Nkan to da…fe adura, eyi to ku die ka to…iyen no fe adura. (what is good requires prayer, the not so good too requires prayer)

Him: Is that what you have to say?

Me: YUP! If my friend called me and told me this, what I’m telling you is what I’ll tell them too. I’ll keep you in my prayers as well.


August , September 2020

August and Sept were spent on maintaining communication. He finally shared his interest in pursuing a relationship with me.



October 2020


Dec 25 2020

A random # pings me on wazzup wishing me Merry Christmas. The DP had a silhouette of a man but I couldn't make out the face. I answer…guess who? Mr. Fiancé!


I God forbid am quickly, and let him know how e dey go. The audacity…like bruh….are you serious right now?

Biodun reinforced the need to be intentional and patient.


I try to move with intention and whoever I end up with I pray loves me with so much conviction and intention that manifests through their decisions and actions to choose me every 24hrs.


Dear Olowo ori mi...

When I'm at my worst I pray you still choose me

I pray you're reminded of the highs that you only experience with me

Maybe it's my smile, maybe it's how I make weird faces

Maybe it's the weird/random things I say, maybe it's my food :-)

Maybe it's the way I call the nickname I gave you

Maybe it's the flashback to the adventures we've shared

Maybe it's even the things that I'm not aware that I do or don't do...but you love

I pray you are overpowered by your reverence to God, and devotion to our love, values, and goals

I pray our good memories are engraved on your heart and keep you grounded in instances when you feel like acting up

Because the fact that you are mine is not an accident, or mistake. I chose you and still choose you.

Your iyawo


Pearl B